Are You Harming Your Child's Self Esteem?

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Self esteem is one of the most critical factors in how your child will live their life and it is important for parents to work to build their child's self esteem at home. Even parents with the best of intentions can inadvertantly lower their child's self esteem just by something as simple as pushing their child in the wrong direction for their own particular skills and talents. This article reveals several mistakes that parents make without meaning to that can lower their child's self esteem.

Here are some of the most common mistakes that can hurt your child's self esteem:

1. Failing to reward small successes along with the big ones. Sure you celebrate major victories - straight A's, winning the "big game", etc. However, kids also need to hear positive feedback for smaller successes or improvements in their lives and not just the major accomplishments.
   
   
2. Reminding your child regularly of something they did wrong or failed at in the past. Rather than focusing your attention on your child's past failures you should regularly remind them of their past successes and encourage them to have positive memories. If you dwell on their failures your child will dwell on them as well and it will lower their self esteem and make them feel like a failure at everything they do.
   
   
3. Comparing your child to another child - whether it is another of your children or an unrelated child. Every child is born with a unique set of skills and talents and no two children are going to be successful with the same things. Comparing your child to other children just makes them feel incompentent and causes them to doubt their own abilities. Not every child has the same talents or abilities, so comparing two children isn't fair to either of them.
   
   
4. Setting the bar too high with your expectations for your child's performance. Children should be encouraged to do the best they can at whatever they do, but if you set your expectations for them too high they may not be able to meet them and it can harm their self esteem if they feel they have failed you. Rather than expecting your child to "be" the best, encourage them to "do" their best and be sure they know that their best is good enough.
   
   
5. Allowing your child to be inactive. Lots of kids these days spend all of their time watching TV or playing video games. The couch potato lifestyle has become the norm for many children, however it is important to keep your child active. Not every child will love or excel at sports, but there are many possibilities besides sports to get your child up off the couch and moving. Children who dislike playing team sports may enjoy a sport like bowling or golf where it is an individual, non-competitive playing field. If your child hates ALL sports, there are other options like music, drama or art that can get them up and participating in life. Look for where your child's talents and tastes lie and encourage them to pursue an activity that they enjoy.

Even taking a few small steps toward building your child's self esteem can go a long way to ensuring that they have a happy and fulfilling future.